2X4 Database
by webhead112233
Summary: An archive of the 2X4 technology use by the Kids Next Door.
1. Chapter 1

**NAME: **_**Black Acidic Coffee Kannon Blasts Unpurplated Remains Nearly Everywhere Recklessly**_**  
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**AKA: B.A.C.K.B.U.R.N.E.R  
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**USE: Fires smoldering coffee grounds. Can be modified to fire other things, such as water, cheese, and hot sauce.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears as a simple coffee van with a food processor inside.**

**NEEDED: Rudimentary knowledge of how to drive a motor vehicle, decent marksmanship, and at least three operatives. (one to drive, one to shoot, and one to reload)**

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium.**

**NAME: **_**Blasts Aloft Juicy Overfilled Orange Kartons Amazingly**_

**AKA: B.A.J.O.O.K.A**

**USE: Fires boxes of orange juice at high speeds. Commonly used against the 'Common Cold'.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears to be a simple mailbox, fires when you least expect it.**

**NEEDED: Average strength to handle recoil, plenty of juice to reload, and proficient marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Low.**

**NAME: **_**Beefy Artillery That Totally Easily Repels Bad Eggs And Thumps Enemy Rivals**_

**AKA: B.A.T.T.E.R.B.E.A.T.E.R**

**USE: Deflects projectile eggs and can be used as a close quarters melee weapon.**

**DESCRIPTION: A simple two egg beater mechanism.**

**NEEDED: Average strength to maintain grip.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Low.**


	2. Chapter 2

**NAME: _Bazooka Lazer Artillery Zaps Enemy Rivals_**

**AKA: B.L.A.Z.E.R**

**USE: Fires lazers. Used mainly for defense against larger enemies, such as robots and Grandmother Stuffem's giant food monsters.**

**DESCRIPTION: Simple handgun weapon. Lazer appears like red lightning.**

**NEEDED: Average marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium.**

**NAME: _Big Lumbering Undersea Behemoth Brings Emergency Reinforcements_**

**AKA: BLUBBER**

**USE: A live whale with a holding compartment and a steering mechanism for undersea rescues.**

**DESCRIPTION: A blue whale with a submarine compartment attached.**

**NEEDED: Advanced submarine operating skills, large crew to maintain mechanism.**

**THREAT LEVEL: None.**

**NAME: _Decommissioned Operative Hunter Drives On Hydrolics_**

**AKA: D.O.H-D.O.H**

**USE: Used by the KND decommition officers to track, hunt, and capture rogue operatives or operatives scheduled for decommitioning.**

**DESCRIPTION: Large robotic doh-doh.**

**NEEDED: Advanced training in operating this specific mechanism.**

**THREAT LEVEL: High.**


	3. Chapter 3

**NAME: _Camouflaged Looks Obscure Undercover Detective Craft On Very Essential Reconnaissance_**

**AKA: C.L.O.U.D.C.O.V.E.R**

**USE: An aircraft that can produce clouds to hide in plain sight. Only for reconnaissance, too fragile to be used in aerial combat.**

**DESCRIPTION: A rudimentary flying mechanism shrouded in clouds.**

**NEEDED: The patience to sit unmoving and silent so as not to alert those you are spying on, basic flight skills.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Low**

**NAME: _Locker Operated Cybernetic Klanky Armor Has Stinky Old Clothes Kannon Arms - Hooray!_**

**AKA: L.O.C.K.A.H.S.O.C.K.A.M**

**USE: Powerful robotic suit made from durable metal and equip with a gym cloths cannon for combat.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears to be a simple school student's locker, when activated it takes on a power rangers-like battle armor appearance.**

**NEEDED: The activation code, training in the use of this weapon specifically, and basic combat skills, the suit is an extension of the wearer's abilities.**

**THREAT LEVEL: High**

**NAME: _Mustardy Armament Releases Big Loud Explosion_**

**AKA: M.A.R.B.L.E**

**USE: Powerful explosives, used for combat, sabotage, intimidation, and escape.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appear to be simple marbles, explode on contact after a good throw.**

**NEEDED: Decent marksmanship, a method of transporting them that would accidentally detonate then (such as a specially made KND marble bag), and distance from the resulting blast.**

**THREAT LEVEL: High**


	4. Chapter 4

**NAME: _Gooey Unlocking Mush Maximizes Break-Outs_**

**AKA: G.U.M.M.B.O**

**USE: Can be formed into a sort of skeleton key as a method of opening any locked door.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears like simple gum until shaped by an operative.**

**NEEDED: Basic training with this item specifically.**

**THREAT LEVEL: None**

**NAME:_ Hyper Airship With Koolness Eliminates Yoru Evil_**

**AKA: H.A.W.K.E.Y.E**

**USE: Aerial combat, escape, and recon. Equip with lazers and anti-aircraft missiles.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears as a simple plane, until it starts firing.**

**NEEDED: Proficiency in piloting.**

**THREAT LEVEL: High**

**NAME: _Mustard Using Sidearm Kicks Enemy Tail_**

**AKA: M.U.S.K.E.T**

**USE: Fires mustard, can be set to fire non-lethal lazers. Used mainly by the decommtion officers, as they are a non-lethal way of restraining a rogue operative.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears as a mustard bottle attacked to a stick in the shape of a side arm.**

**NEEDED: Basic marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium**


	5. Chapter 5

**NAME: **_**Robotic Operative's Ballistic Odor Blasting Rocket Armed Derriere Launches Extreme**_

**AKA: R.O.B.O.B.R.A.D.L.E**

**USE: Cyborg skunk invented by Numbah 2. Bradle started out as the adopted skunk of Numbah's 2 and 3. After a horrible accident that nearly ended his life, Numbah 2 revived him by infused him with cybernetics. **

**DESCRIPTION: Bipedal cyborg skunk.**

**NEEDED: Get out of his way.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Extreme **

**NAME:**_**Spring Loaded Uppercutting Glove Gives Unbelievable Headache**_

**AKA: S.L.U.G.G.U.H**

**USE: Extending arm mechanism is used to deliver melee attacks at a distance. **

**DESCRIPTION: Think the boxing glove-accordion contraption used in the Looney Toons. **

**NEEDED: Average strength to handle recoil, basic marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Low**

**NAME:**_**Stingy Pepper Infused Cannon Enflames Retinas**_

**AKA: S.P.I.C.E.R**

**USE: peppers are used to radiate a heat wave blast. **

**DESCRIPTION: Appears as a simple side arm with a compartment for the peppers. **

**NEEDED: Peppers for reload and basic marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium**


	6. Chapter 6

**NAME: **_**Solid Pine Loaded Artillery Nicely Kicks Enemy Rear**_

**AKA: S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R**

**USE: Spring loaded wooden boards melee strong enough to knock out a full grown adult in one shot.**

**DESCRIPTION: Multiple pieces of wood assembled in side arm fashion.**

**NEEDED: Average strength to handle recoil.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium**

**NAME:**_** Super Preposterously Large Orbiting Rocket Condiment Kannon**_

**AKA: S.P.L.O.R.C.K**

**USE: Large orbital satellite that could essentially wipe out entire continents with mustard blasts from space. Like the M.U.S.K.E.T, only elevendy qudrilion times stronger.**

**DESCRIPTION: Has the appearance of a M.U.S.K.E.T, only scaled up by a few million square feet.**

**NEEDED: A safe distance away from the target.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Extreme **

**NAME: **_**Totally Am Gonna Getcha**_

**AKA: T.A.G.G**

**USE: When the supreme leader of the KND initiates a game of tag to decide who will take over in their place, many operatives take to the sky. If hit by one of these missiles, they are counted as IT. **

**DESCRIPTION: A large missile with an outstretched tagging hand on the end.**

**NEEDED: A ship to fire from and proficient marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: None. (If in a game of tag however: High)**


	7. Chapter 7

**NAME: **_**Useful Neighborhood Device's Excellent Reconfiguration Produces Outrageously Unstoppable Noisy Destructiveness**_

**AKA: U.N.D.E.R.P.O.U.N.D**

**USE: Giant robot formed from an entire neighborhood. First created to combat the machines of the Delightful Children from down the Lane.**

**DESRIPTION: Just as it sounds, a giant robot that's body is composed of an entire neighborhood. Buildings, street, sidewalk, and all.**

**NEEDED: A full team to operate the massive robot.**

**THREAT LEVEL: High**

**NAME: **_**Tosses Armored Nets Guaranteeing Lotsa Entangled Rivals**_

**AKA: T.A.N.G.L.E.R**

**USE: Fires green fired nets to trap enemies.**

**DESRIPTION: Appears as a simple net gun.**

**NEEDED: Average strength to handle recoil and basic marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Low**

**NAME: **_**Yields Obnoxious Yards Of Pesky Entangling Rope**_

**AKA: Y.O.-Y.O.P.E.R**

**USE: A yo-yo launching fire arm.**

**DESRIPTION: Appears as a simple rifle. **

**NEEDED: Basic marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium**


	8. Chapter 8

**NAME: **_**Carries Operatives' Data Entered Mainly On Digitally Uncrackable Little Electronics**_

**AKA: C.O.D.E.M.O.D.U.L.E**

**USE: Contains data of all operatives of the KND.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears like a waffle iron with a computer screen.**

**NEEDED: A computer port to plug into.**

**THREAT LEVEL: none in battle, extreme if in the wrong hands **

**NAME: **_**Doubly Effective Fortress Enhancement Nicely Stops Enemies Giving Reliable Instantaneous Defensibility**_

**AKA: DE.F.E.N.S.E.-G.R.I.D**

**USE: Acts as an automatic defense system.**

**DESCRIPTION: Made up of all household objects.**

**NEEDED: Nothing.**

**THREAT LEVEL: None to you, high to intruders**

**NAME:**_** Granite Augmented Rocket Glider Outstandingly Creates Your Cool Looking Escape**_

**AKA: G.A.R.G.O.C.Y.C.L.E**

**USE: A rocket cycle that can be camouflaged as a gargoyle so it can be left near an enemy building without suspicion. **

**DESCRIPTION: Appears as a simple granite gargoyle.**

**NEEDED: Moderate motor-vehicle training.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium**


	9. Chapter 9

**NAME:**_** Chucks Alotta Things Up High Powered Largely Using Negonized Ketchup**_

**AKA: C.A.T.U.H.P.L.U.N.K**

**USE: Trampoline mechanism used to fire things into the air. Aiming is difficult.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears as a simple trampoline with hydraulics beneath.**

**NEEDED: Ketchup to fuel the hydraulics.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Low**

**NAME:**_** Cannon Heartily Ejects Extra Zesty Oodles Of Cheese Karelessly Around**_

**AKA: C.H.E.E.S.Z.O.O.C.K.A**

**USE: A hose device that fires melted cheese in large quantities.**

**DESCRIPTION: A tank filled with cheese to be worn on the back and a hose to fire it.**

**NEEDED: Average strength to carry the tank, moderate marksmanship.**

**THREAT LEVEL: Low**

**NAME: **_**Flaming Log Ignited Explosive Rocket Plane Lifts And Careens Effortlessly**_

**AKA: F.L.I.E.R.P.L.A.C.E**

**USE: A fire place that becomes an escape jet.**

**DESCRIPTION: Appears as a fireplace when dormant.**

**NEEDED: Proficiency in aerial maneuvering. **

**THREAT LEVEL: Medium**


End file.
